Creating lasting change is a not a matter of willpower, but of the power of a free will. For most of us, our will is not free. It is enslaved to the story of who we believe we are. If a change is too far outside the bounds of who you believe you are, you will be unable to incorporate that change into your life, even if you apply willpower. But when your will is free, you are empowered to make lasting changes.
Jamie Sams writes that our will is our “emotional body” and it often reacts based on the thoughts and internal talk of our “mental body” – the mind. Our will often does not choose the most authentic action in the moment. Rather it has been programmed to react in accordance with the stories created by the mind.
A free will can discern the best choices and make decisions unwaveringly. The power of a freed will is the power of intuition and intention combined. When your intuition is strong, you make choices in alignment with who you are. When your intention is strong, you can accomplish amazing things. Yet some of us do not know how to regularly access our intuition. And most of us do not know how to focus our intention. But we may know how to be obsessive. And there is a world of difference between the two.
When your intent is strong, you direct your will with clarity of purpose. You move in a direction with commitment. But you can also detach from your desired outcome. With obsession you cannot detach, and you are powerless to direct your will. You become fixated on your goal and closed to other opportunities. Intention, however, opens up a world of possibilities because you are not attached to any of them, even though you are guided by a clear purpose.
How do you apply this in your life? First you must bring your attention to the stories you believe about yourself and others. What conclusions you have drawn about yourself, who you are, and what you can and cannot do? Begin to observe and write them down. Also observe and record the assumptions you have about others, circumstances, and your life.
Perhaps you believe something like: “I need to be strong. Asking for help is a sign of weakness. Besides if I did ask, no one would help me.” There are many foregone assumptions and conclusions in those beliefs that would prevent you from asking for help when you really need it.
Start observing patterns of thinking and behaving in your life. Then question those patterns to discover if they keep you stuck. As an example, if you believe you must always be strong, ask yourself questions like these. Why must I always be strong? What would it mean to me to be weak? Why do I believe asking for help is a sign of weakness? Why am I unwilling to allow others to help me? Why do I believe no one will help me if I genuinely ask for help? Be honest with yourself. Beliefs like these trap your will, so it becomes extremely difficult to make choices that go against them. And believing them is equivalent to choosing to be stuck and struggling.
After obtaining the answers to your questions, open to new ways of looking at life. What would it mean if someone helped you? Notice the word mean. To free our will, we must free ourselves from the meanings we assign to our experiences. Researchers have shown that it is not so much what happens to a person, but the meaning they make of what happens that determines the quality of their life.
If you are unsatisfied with the quality of your life or the quality of certain aspects of your life, you can change your experience. First you must discover and change your story about the experiences and the meanings you assign to them. Then choose from a silent, centered place instead of automatically or in response to your internal talk. This connects you to your intuition. Then you can make more empowering choices with intention. As an example, asking for help does not have to mean that you are weak. Change the meaning; then your will is free to make different choices and to bring the power of intention to its decisions.
Over time, you can be freed from the stories that have been running your life. But sometimes the assumptions, conclusions, and meanings that run your life are so ingrained, that you may need help from an objective person to see what they are. But for some, that would first require that they change the meaning they attribute to asking for help.
Are you willing to change your mind and free your will? If so, your changed will can change your life, by allowing you to tap into the strength of your intuition and intention. Eventually you can free yourself from the patterns of thinking and behaving that have kept you stuck. Your freed will can open up a new world of possibilities from which you can choose with power.
